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Newsletter December 1999 |
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Newsletter December 1999 |
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Next meeting:
Saturday December 11th 1999, at St. Johns Church Hall, Norrie St., Drury, starting at 9a.m.
Games arranged:
Morning session: 9.30 am to 1.00pm
| Kevin Carberry v Bryan Orsbourne | Rapid Fire | 1500 points |
| David Kermode v Warren | WH40K | 1500 points |
| Ken Snow v Peter Colson | Electronic | |
| Robert Davies v Arthur Young | WHFB | 2000 points |
| Andrew Salisbury v Ivan Soo | WHFB | 2000 points |
Afternoon session: 1.30pm to 5.00pm
| David Kermode v Peter Colson | WHFB | 2000 points |
| Ken Snow v Ivan Soo | Electronic | |
| Andrew Salisbury v Bryan Orsbourne | WHFB | 2000 points |
| Kevin Carberry v Arthur Young | Rapid Fire | 1500 points |
Copy for the news letter needs to be to me by on the Friday of the week before we meet .- Kevin
Fees are now due for club membership for 2000. These are $30 for the year, with a $5 discount if paid at the December meeting. This is the same amount we charged for membership this year and represents pretty good value in that you have the potential to play 24 games at the club during the year. That's just over a dollar a game plus you get this newsletter, friendly company, meet nice people and you know you can always win against Bryan or Ken anytime you feel like it! What more could you want for your membership fee?!!! Please pay your fees promptly (to get the discount) because we need to pay the Church for the use of their hall for another year. Fees should be paid to Bryan Orsbourne. Thanks.
This months landings
Ken, Kevin, and Robert will be able to raise two new regiments in December and make further moves, however the others are going to have to discuss their options and to some arrangements
this did not come out right last month so here is a reprint.
The Tyranid Nutritional Rectangle
Just like the human Nutritional Pyramid, the Tyranid Rectangle is used to illustrate the dietary requirements for a healthy bug lifestyle.
| Food Type | Notes | Consumption |
| GM Canned Goods | Tough, bit stringy, has a tendency to regenerate in the mouth. Watch out for cans past their used by date, these can be recognized by spiky cans and weird iconography. (Seems to be some sort of advertising gimmick) | Eat More Of |
| GM-Free Canned Goods | Seem to be exclusively grain-fed females, carefully prepared and packaged for consumption. (Don’t forget to pack a Genestealer or two – never go on a picnic without a can-opener) | Eat More Of |
| Free Range | Juicy and tender, and lots of it – bring a doggy bag. Tends to be served with a side order of big metal boxes – these tend to make a big mess, leave well enough alone. | Eat More Of |
| Battery Hens | Two distinct varieties – both cooped up in large storage facilities where they are fattened up for delectable dining. Be careful with spiky ones – sharp bits can get caught in teeth and can cause cavities. Serve with white wine. | Eat More Of |
| Wild/Feral Meat | Nice and chewy – like jerky. Lots of meat with each serving. Served in three courses, little ones for appetizers middle sized one as mains, and a few big ones for dessert. Red wine best served with green meat. | Eat More Of |
Just in case you don't get it that's - Marines(both types), Sisters, Guard, Eldar (both types), orks.
Battle Reports
Andrew Salisbury (Dark Elves) beat Arthur Young ( Skaven ) - The battle lines were drawn and the armies squared off man to man, or rather, doity rat to self proclaimed child of evil. Having managed to completely lose the initiative after a hard night at 'Lord Ganeths Arms', the general of the dark elves awaited the smelly, obnoxious, foul, warped, dribbling,... ...cowardly, stuttering,... ... chittering skaven. The evil machinations started to action with 'ze bell' resounding and the 'wheel of misfortune' did their stuff. Things didn't really wind up, even when the dark elves did push forward a bit and did some bowfire. The doity General of them doity rats had the err, 'cheese of command' I believe it was.
The battle ensued with some, well, quite a few, in fact a whole unit eventually collapsing to the gaseous death that is plague censer bearers handiwork. The plague priest did naff all and got killed by a lvl 3 sorceress, SUCKA. In centerfield a unit of 5 cold ones led by the general charged the rat ogres, and after slaying two, FOUR cold one nites collapsed under large fists mainly composed of rat coloured flesh with the texture of an ogres. Funny that. The rat-ogres FINALLY died and the remaining general and standard bearer (YAY extra point) came around behind the large unit of skaven with the screaming bell.
The err, Bitch elves? Do I have that right? They removed the 'wheel of misfortune' with some nasty swings along with the cauldron on the front lines, and then braced to receive a charge from 'ze bell' which didn't make it. Then in general, the WHOLE fight degraded to one messy scrap in the middle with an unbreakable bell refusing to be broken, funny that. The general died finally, I cannot remember how exactly, but let me break it down like this. If I was playing yahtzee I woulda been sweet. A challenge taken by his general to my head 'Bitch', I had a wad of dice, hitting on 3's, I rolled more 1's and 2's than I have ever, hitting twice maybe, and not wounding, at all. His attacks were much the same. You get that. Magic in general was about, but didn't do a lot even though I did get off an Az-nipples black horror. And yeah, bowfire was much the same. In the end there was a repeater bolt thrower trying to remove 2 censer bearers from a long way away after they chased the remaining corsairs off the table and the only other things with missile fire were my scouts, and they got some, but not enough and joined in that mass orgy of the scrap in the middle
The End pretty much.
Ken Snow ( Dogs of War) Beat Arthur Young ( Skaven ) - Those of you familiar with the Somme will understand this battle. Arthur's Skaven went " over the top " and where met by a hail of crossbow bolts, and alas many young rats will never return to their home an the dales, for the bolts felled the great and the small, the Ratogre and the doomwheeler. Those few skaven who made it to the enemy lines were felled by the knights and the final scene was of the Grey Seer falling as the bell rang out under the ricochet of crossbow bolts. - I helps if you can pinch total power off your opponent twice in the game - bad luck Arthur
Ken Snow ( Chaos & Dogs of War ) beaten by Robert Davies (Wood Elves) - Robert had taken special interest in my game against Arthur and consequently fielded plenty of longbowmen, and lots of woods, which is the first time in recorded history that Robert has used terrain. (a record check has confirmed this - KC). Needless to say Robert won convincingly, largely by the use of skirmishers and magical nets which can tie down chaos troops who would otherwise have cut up a reasonable part of his army. Never the less he still lost a treeman and a reasonable number of archers in this game. I lost everything, but you had probably guessed that already!
Kevin Carberry (Blood Angels) Beaten by David Kermode ( Eldar ) - Well things started well ( not) with most of the honor guard ending up in the Death Company. these great rolls continued and I ended up with a DC that would not fit in its rhino. Oh well, never mind lets have at them. we were playing tournament rules and ended up on opposite table edges. I got first turn and charged even got into hand to hand, but the Honor Guards rhino blew a diff and that left me with both my good hand to hand squads on foot and behind the rest. the tactical marines did their best but outnumbered two or three to one where outmatch. The battle ended with a really nasty fight around the Death Company rhino with the Death Company and Honor Guard up against Scorpions, guardians, Warlocks, and Dreadnoughts. We won this scrap but by that stage the rest of the boys where gone and it was a win to the panzes.
Kevin Carberry (Germans) Beat David Kermode ( Russian ) -The two forces consisted of a tank company with a motorized engineering battalions. This was a meeting engagement with both forces starting deployed on a road at opposite ends of the table. Russians moved first and rushed down the road at speed the German force was a little more careful and deployed defensively sending out scouts. The Russians continued their headlong charge stopping only briefly to deploy antitank guns at their end of the village, the T-34's screamed out the far side and fired on the German tanks at long range but to no avail. The Germans held to their defensive positions and opened fire much of it bounced of the Russian tanks but they did learn one valuable lesson, 88m flak guns are dangerous even at extreme range.from there the battle developed into a swirling melee around the village with both sides taking heavy casualties (god I hate Motars - KC). but in the end it was the Panzer IV that had finally rallied who forced a Russian rout. A nice even game.
Ivan Soo beat Jarret Filmer - Where did all the panzes go ?? Dey's not so smart. Dey's run da wrong way. Deys's running away to play pokemon or somrthing. We go and beats the up when dey's not looking
Ivan Soo vs Andrew Salisbury - " Aye laddie did you bring the bugmans? " " No sir I didn't. the traitorous evles have run away from the battle, they fear us so. But no worries, we will chase them down with our superior speed, them go get the Bugmans "
This newsletter is edited by Kevin Carberry so anything you would like included in the newsletter should be sent to me at 48 Beaumonts way, Manurewa, South Auckland. Phone 2670319, kevin@profax.co.nz
Robert "Dictator" Davies is the Club President so any queries, problems, issues or suggestions about the club should go to him at 14 Grebe Street, Manurewa. Phone 2670899.