The following is a contribution from sub-editor Peter Colson, and the opinions expressed are not necessarily that of other members of the South Auckland Miniature Wargames Club, although undoubtedly they are the RIGHT opinions to have, and he has kindly deemed you all worthy to know and hence share this wonderful and enlightened opinion.

Hello good patrons of the South Auckland Miniature Wargames Club

I’ll be starting with some rules and codes of conduct this time, before slipping into the more familiar opinionated you’ve all come to know and tolerate =)

But before I do, just a little note here that the Forum shouldn’t necessarily be exclusively authored by myself (Peter). So anything you lot want to stick in here, such as sale ads, ideas, idle threats, and the like, feel free to talk to me about it, and I’ll write it up and try to stick it into the newsletter for you.

Now, into it

After a few events recently, I feel it’s time to put the unwritten rules of Games Club into writing

Please take note of these, because if you don’t, we may not have a games club, and I’d start to die from WWS (Warhammer Withdrawl Syndrome).

Due respect must be given to the hall at which we play, the church hierarchy are very gracious in lending out the use of their hall to us so that we may play there, particularly in light of the fact that that we use the hall to do battle pitting the might of demons and blasphemers against each other… I won’t tell if you wont

But in all seriousness, it’s a Church hall, and hence a house of God, and we should respect it and use it in a well-behaved manner. Don’t play up, don’t throw things, don’t vandalise, don’t break things, and be very careful with the whole place. Now, for some obscure reason, the Church Hierarchy dictates that rubbish bags are not to be left there, so we have to provide our own. I’m going to be exceedingly kind and generous, and bring along a great big plastic bag each month to be the receptacle for our rubbish. Please put your rubbish IN THE BAG, and please don't put anything too messy in there because I have to take that crap home. And when eating, please don’t make too much of a mess. I’m aware that many things which are good to eat are unfortunately rather difficult to eat without some mess (damn flaky-pastry on those pies) so just try to be a little clean about it, and all should be fine

Now, every single gamer has the undeniable right to enjoyment from his hobby!

No one of us can dispute that. Even if you don’t like the guy, he still has the right to a good time as much as you do

In light of this undeniable and inalienable right, please act in a civil manner

Harmless ribbing, i.e. "Tell your goblins to get back here and pick their nuts up, damned litter-bugs", is perfectly acceptable, but don’t make the game miserable for the other guy. Don’t gang-up on people, this alienates them and makes things rather difficult to enjoy. A special note should be made for multi-player games here, ganging up in a multi-player game is rather bad sportsmanship, especially if experienced players are ganging up on a novice.

Just as we have to respect the hall we use, we ALSO have to respect the property of other gamers.

If you borrow someone’s rulebook/codex/template/models, you make sure that these items are returned promptly to the owner AS SOON AS THEY ARE NO LONGER NECESSARY!

Take exceptional care of the property of others. Imagine how carefully you treat your most delicate/expensive miniature, and multiply how careful you treat that miniature by about ten. This is how careful you have to be of someone else’s models, even if they are solid one-piece undercoated models (sorry Ivan, but he had wings, he was born to fly! Not many people will get that, so don’t worry =)

Even during the game, you move your opponent’s models ONLY if you have your opponent’s express permission. You take care not to do anything to endanger your opponents property in any way. You do not bend the spine of their rulebooks, Paul Kravenko…

Don’t eat too close to a codex or rulebook or model, remember these things are insanely expensive, not all of us have generous mothers and aunts and what have you to buy them for us, some of us endure sh*tty jobs to pay for our models/books, and spend a great amount of time painting and modelling them, or reading and memorising them in the case of books, and we do not wish to see our hard-earned money and ours of labour disappear in an instant of carelessness.

And remember, our gaming tables, although fairly sturdy, are NOT invincible, and can be broken or knocked over if not careful, and not only that, the trestle tables sag a little in the middle, and have a habit of bouncing if someone leans on them, this may lead to expensive miniatures falling over and breaking into several parts.

So remember that great care must be taken not to damage the belongings of others. That is a cardinal sin within the gaming community

And it goes without saying that theft is NOT acceptable.

If ever one of your possessions, be it a book, a model, terrain, dice, rulers, templates, whatever, if ever one of your possessions is missing, please tell me, and I’ll advertise the fact in the Newsletter, and hopefully someone else would have picked up the missing item, and taken care of it, with the intent of returning it to its rightful owner the following month, instead of trusting to the attentions of those devious and evil Cub Scouts who also use the hall.

About 4 Space Orks. Graeme would like these back, and seeing as he so generously provided me with a battle report for his last game within one week of the meeting, I’m inclined to wish good fortune upon him, so whoever has picked up his Orks, PLEASE return these quickly. Nobody likes losing their Orks.

I found one small plastic lasgun, I believe to be from a Catachan jungle fighter.

Also, assorted Ork bits, a big gun and ammo feed from a war-bike to be precise.

Okay, the campaign is going along quite well, only problem being that of the massive absence of players last month, and the repeat this month. But this matters little

However, this may lead to an imbalance in power if it occurs often, so preventative measures have been taken

I have decided it would be better to restrict the amount of Campaign games played per month to 1, so if you miss a month, you don’t lose out too much. I may alter this though in the future, just trial right now.

Also, I am officially advertising positions in the Campaign, spacious land to occupy and many battles to fight. Anyone, absolutely anyone, who is interested in playing along, you can just try it out if you like, feel free to come see me, and I’ll set you up with a fine estate in the hills =)

Okay, I’m planning a tournament, I’ve said it in here a few times.

I’m thinking it would be good for January, after everyone’s got all their Christmas models and so on

The alterior motive for this is as follows.

The tournament will be open to all South Auckland Miniature Wargames Club members.

However, as of January, there are no South Auckland Miniature Wargames Club members, as membership pretty much expires end of December, and the fees must be collected so we can hire the hall.

So, in January, bring along your membership fee to kindly give to Bryan (I believe he’s the club taxman, he holds the purse-strings) and you can play the tournament

Now, I would like an indication of who wants to take part in this tournament, so I have an idea of numbers. This time I’ll write down your name if you show interest so I have a good idea, instead of forgetting who is interested like I’ve done the past few months =P

I’m running a sort-of semi-campaign thing for inquisitor. If you are interested in the game, come have a talk with me, I’ll help you get into it if you’d like. I advise that you do, it’s a pretty kewl game when you get to grips with it

Well, I picked up a copy of Codex Battlezone: Cityfight.

It looks pretty good, and seems to make sense if you let your mind open up a bit from the game mechanics.

The rules themselves work rather well, and the game chuggs along at a fair respectable pace, and it certainly becomes more interesting, with new tactical opportunities to wrap your head around, and new tricks to implement. It’s a great addition to the game, in my not-so humble opinion.

Of course, the ceaseless act of inspiration has struck again. I’ve already got too much going on right now, but the cruel beast of Inspiration has beaten up the small and frightened animal of Common Sense, and is now rampaging out of control, demanding campaigns and conversions and beautiful paint jobs to satiate it’s immense appetite.

So, consequently, I’m considering making a story-based 40K campaign next year at some point. Someone slap me the next time I get a good idea, it’s too much effort

Uhhhhhhh, I think that’s it

Cheers all

 Marcel and Graeme (Orks) vs. ? (Imperial Guard)

Warboss Guzgob kicked the tyre of the heavily customised wartuk impatiently

"Wenz da umies gonna get ere?" he called in frustration to Ghazghkull

"Don’t wurry" he replied "dey’ll be ere or wul trash dere camp"

Just after he had finished the sentence an Imperial tank came into view

A shot from the giant cannon of the looted Basilisk Tank hit the side of an Imperial Leman Russ, destroying it outright.

"Good, iz about time"

Guzgob, Ghazghkull and da Nobz hopped onto the back of the wartruk as it pulled a fantastic wheelie and took off at great speed. They headed for a squad of humans and a chimera tank.

The grots headed for a big squad of men, SSDSG (stupid suicidal drunken slaver git) behind them.

The shoota boyz were pumpin bullets into the tanks and men, makin an ‘uge racket.

Also da stikbommas where eadin for da tanks. When da Nobz got into contact with da umies dey carved dem up (de only fing dey coud do is shoot em wif der puny lazgunz and bayonetz) and headed for da tank then blew off its turret, destroying the tank completely.

Meanwhile the boyz were takin out da tanks, men and sentinels.

After a lot of noise and umies explowdin, the Orks had (easily I might say) conquered da umies. (Another) victory for DA BOYZ!

Lez go ome for sum grog!