Okay, this month I'm trying something a little different.

Instead of my usual rambling and inane banter, I'm actually going to do something constructive for a change...

Don't worry, it probably won't last =P

But first off, some stuff I'll conveniently place in a section I like to call:

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT!

Okay, in no particular order.

BATTLE REPORTS

Or rather, the lack thereof.

Last month, I recieved no battle reports. At all. Period.

A few may work their way into the newsletter, but only a few, at best.

THIS IS NOT ON!

Wait, no, that deserves big red lettering

THIS IS NOT ON!

Now, I know that most of you lose, and some of you actually DO put forward a Battle report, if pressed to do so. Good on you for it, it certainly makes the newsletter a more interesting read.

NOW, the club has REALLY seen a fall from grace. The experienced gamers have largely buggered off, and with them, the Club Leagues, events, rumours, and battle reports. There is a long standing tradition in the club... long standing compared to most of everything else now it seems (I'm an 'old fellow' now, and that scares the bejeezus outta me)... that if you play a game, ONE OF THE PARTICIPANTS WRITES THE BATTLE REPORT. This is open to debate, but, if neither wish to write anything, the task falls to the winner. Long, short, serious, funny, story, facts, whatever. Just, someone write it okay?

Most of the people that AREN'T writing their battle reports are the newbies, who may be somewhat forgiven as perhaps they do not recieve the newsletter to see my disgruntled ramblings on this subject. This changes as of this coming month, as I'll be printing out a special PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT and blu-tacking it to the entrance of the hall! This will specifically state that you are to write a report of your game, and this month, I'm NOT running a 4-table game, I am in fact playing a 1500 point game this morning, so I WILL have a bit of time to spare to harrass you lot into writing a few lines about the game! Be warned, I WON'T be playing fair in pursuing these unwritten battle reports

RUBBISH

Okay, from now on, rubbish is YOUR OWN RESPONSABILITY!

The Church Hall does NOT provide rubbish bags.

No other organisation may leave rubbish bags for us to use.

WE MUST NOT LEAVE ANY RUBBISH IN THE CHURCH HALL!!!

To put it simply, what you bring into the club, be it a spectacularly painted Greater Daemon, or be it a paper bag full of flakes of pastry, YOU MUST TAKE IT WITH YOU WHEN YOU LEAVE!!!

NO-ONE is to leave cans and bottles lying around. Screwed up paper bags are similarly not to be left. IF YOU MAKE A MESS WHILE EATING, YOU CLEAN UP THIS MESS AFTER YOU ARE DONE EATING!

You must all take responsability for your actions. If you do not abide by this, and believe that you are perfectly justified in leaving your mess around, then I am certain the Club President, and the members of the higher eschelon of club politics (i.e. the guys who were here before about 90% of you) would agree that it would be better to kick the people leaving a mess out of the club, rather than to have the church kick ALL of us out of the hall.

Consider yourselves warned, people, I will be in talks with the president and administrative capacities of the club if this situation doesn't improve, discussing such measures as expulsion and banishment from the club, to see how we may improve these measures before we all face losing the hall.

RESPECT FOR PROPERTY

This is fairly good. But I feel it's worth repeating quickly.

First off, the Hall isn't ours, and it is a priviledge that we are allowed to use it.

To this end, we have to endeavor to keep the place TIDY, and not cause any damage to it at all. Even if other people using the club, such as the Maketu Cub Scouts, or the boys from Periodic Detention, occasionally leave the place in a less than desireable condition, WE still must maintain high standards. Everything must be packed away neatly, the floors must be swept, there must be no rubbish left behind, and there is to be absolutely NO vandalism. I believe there should be a zero-tolerance regime for that last point. So we must respect the Club Hall.

Next, other peoples things. When borrowing something, return it promptly. No-one likes it when their things go missing, if we all return borrowed items as soon as we are done, things are less likely to go missing.

Also, no-one is under any obligation to lend you THEIR OWN PERSONAL PROPERTY!

If you ask to borrow something or look at something, and the owner says no, he means NO. End of story.

Finally, again, this hobby IS EXPENSIVE. A LOT of hard work goes into it. Respect the property of others, unless you wish to be banned and forced to play against yourself in shame in long years of exile.

BEHAVIOUR

You're in public. A level of good behaviour is expected of one. You should be courteous to your opponent (the occasional claim of your opponent being a pillock or gitt due to unfeasably good luck is permissable) and to all other club members. Try not to shout too often (this is especially directed against the club munchkins) as we all have to try to hear our opponents and so on. It is extremely bad form to be innattentive during a game, especially to the point of distraction, or if one continually wanders off. Many members have expressed disappointment about such behaviour, please note all who do this, it can be VERY annoying and ruin the atmosphere of the game. And one final point. Consider that it is, perhaps, a better idea to resolve issues with your opponent or look up in the rulebook a solution to your problem, rather than to pester those who are in the process of their game. At the very least, could you all try to limit yourselves so I get asked questions no more than once every five minutes?

It is worth pointing out that it is a GAME, and as such, it is not so important that you should get too wound up by it. Just try to enjoy it. Which brings me nicely onto my next point

THE UNOFFICIAL GAMERS CONTRACT!

This is the unwritten law that we, the gamers, mostly live by.

The original was commented on by Jervis Johnson, I haven't actually seen this unwritten contract, but basically, it's like the following, and quite a good way for gamers to go by.

This is, basically, that we will seek entertainment beyond all else in a game, being gracious and good-humoured in both victory and defeat, and that we should endeavor to provide our opponents with as entertaining and enjoyable a game as we ourselves wish to have.

That we shall not commit cheese knowingly (that is creating a list which bends the rules or plays in such an abusive manner as to be unfair, and be most unenjoyable to play against) and will make no army list that we ourselves would not willingly play against

We shall play to the best of our ability, and not get grumpy or unsporting if things do not go in our favour. We will try to win, but accept defeat, and generally make the game a positive experience.

Sometimes we lose sight of this. Warhammer is competative, but it is a HOBBY game, and thus, the most important factor is that we can take enjoyment from the hobby. Respect the right of others to enjoy the game, and they shall also respect yours.

NEWS and RUMOURS

Okay, Chaos is about to be released. By the time this newsletter is sent, chances are they'll already be out, but I'll write a little bit anyway

The army is split into Lords, Heroes, Mortals, Daemons, and Rare. Depending on the general/characters, Mortals and Daemons occupy the Core or Special section of the list.

I have happened to glance at the new models. Some are brilliant, others... could be better.

The new Marauders, which come as plastics, 16 to a box, are quite simply beautiful. The knew chaos knights are also great.

I haven't heard anything about the current Chaos Warrior Box Set being re-released, so it's safe to assume we're stuck with the old ones.

It's pleasing to see that Games Workshop is drifting away from their insanely p.c. phase they had in the past few years, and are returning to proper representation of the hobby and fluff in a mature, adult manner. Hence, daemonettes are as they are supposed to be, exotic and lithe figures with a sense of elegance to them, and, quite normally for a being composed entirely of magic, no clothing. I find this to be right and proper, and suggest to anyone who takes offence at such that perhaps they should go off somewhere and actually grow up, and come to terms with the fact that we were born naked (horror of all horrors).

I can only hope and pray that the Keeper of Secrets gets a COMPLETE overhaul and actually ends up LOOKING like it's supposed to, i.e. something of alluring beauty, not an alien space-cow with wrinkled pointy breasts.

The new Great Unclean One is, to put it bluntly, ugly. It's the same model, with a different face. Unfortunately, the face looks crap

Some people like the new PLaguebearers. I don't, I like the old ones. And the old Bloodletters also look better, in my opinion.

Horrors... are wierd. Nothings changed in the wierdness department. They're not as comical now though.

Chaos hounds... picture the biggest, meanest, nastiest, most evilest dog you can possibly imagine. Now mix that with Cerberus, the guard dog of Hades. Now mix in an element of werewolf, and an element of pretty much any evil furry thing (neighbours cat perhaps)

Now give it the name 'fluffy'

They are very wicked looking... things. Calling them dogs would be like calling a Lamborghini Diablo SV a skateboard.

The new Chaos Lord model is so beautifully, exquisitely brutal and spiky, and very, very impressive.

Likewise, the chaos sorceror models are very, very well done, as are most of the new daemonic thingies

Archaon. Archaon of Chaos Undivided.

Well, I guess I could say it's good. Just like I could call the pacific ocean kinda big.

It is so absolutely beautifully sculpted, the model was beautifully painted, and this model is totally, completely, absolutely bloody HUGE!!!!!

About half the people that start collecting chaos in the next year, he will be the reason for doing so!

The armies released after the Chaos army, will be out pretty much within a year, so all you Lizardmen/Brettonian/Wood Elf/Khemrian/Chaos Dwarf players don't have long to wait

I've heard mutterings that Khemri may be next in line

The only exciting bits for 40K at the moment is the upcoming Necrons (who thankfully look a LITTLE bit more interesting now that they have glowy green plastic rods in their guns) and the revamped Codex: Chaos

Oh, and Club specific news.

I'm hoping to run another tournament this coming January, and am hoping for as much of a success as this years one was.

A few changes will be made, of course, most specifically, the judging of painting/appearance, and army selection. This time, everyone will give each participant a score for these, instead of only your opponents, in a quick 'beauty pageant' between the first and second game.

Oh, and there's a couple of new armies about to be born. I've laid my hands on the dreaded Goblins (ooooh, scary), and Damien's picking up the pointy-eared harbingers of magical deathness, the High Elves, and apparently Ivan's looking at the Necrons with whom he shares a similar lack of personality...

For The Masses!

Okay, I've decided, it was time I started playing some games of Warhammer that AREN'T just the standard Pitched Battle

It's time I had a go at some scenarios, try something a little different, make reasons for the fights.

The problem with most of the scenarios is that they either unbalance someones army deliberately, or alter the force organisation fairly drastically, and generally are difficult to play in a pick-up-and-play environment, as you really have to tailer your force to actually achieve the mission goal.

SO, practical man that I am, I've decided to make up a couple of fairly simple Scenarios, to give your games an extra dimension, something to make them rather a little more interesting.

Feel free to use these in your games, that's what they're here for, AND, if you have any Scenario ideas of your own, I'd appreciate it greatly if you told me, and I'll probably stick them here in the newsletter too... remember, the forum is for ALL club members to add to, not just me.

So, without further wastage of space, here are a few simple scenarios!

Capture the Bridge!

This addition is so incredibly simple I'll just explain it. The game, for all intents and purposes, is a standard Pitched Battle Scenario, EXCEPT that somewhere on the table there is a fairly substancial river. This river has two or more bridges on it. You must endeavor to capture the bridges. Any bridge one of your units occupies at the end of the game (if your unit is ON the bridge and no enemy are on it, or if you have a unit within 5" of a bridge and there are no enemy units within 5" of the bridge) gains you an additional 100 victory points. If you wish the control of the bridges to be more important, simply increase the victory point bonus to 2, 3, or even 4 hundred victory points.

Occupation

Okay, this one requires buildings, and a fair few of them.

A Standard Pitched Battle, with the following alterations. On the table, pretty much half-way between each of the players edges of the table, on one side (i.e. NOT in the very center of the table), the buildings are arranged in an area roughly 24" square, with streets at least 4-5 inches wide. This is the city.

The objective of the game is to take hold of the city, and destroy the enemy.

The game plays exactly as a standard pitched battle, using the Buildings rules in the warhammer rulebook for the buildings in the city.

At the end of the game, the player who more victory points worth of troops than his enemy in the city gains an additional 500 Victory Points awarded to him. i.e. someone with a unit of spearmen worth 240 points with a standard, but which is now half strength, and a unit of knights with his general in it, worth 413 points including the general, and both units have standards, for a total victory points value of 723 (half the price of the spearmen, the price of the knights, and then an extra 300 for two standards and a general), and his opponents' units total only 576 victory points in their value, then the first player claims the City and adds 500 to his Victory Points exactly as if he'd captured 5 table quarters...

Okay, I hope that's fairly clear

The Highwayman

For this game, you need to mark out a road at least 60 inches long, but no more than 72 inches long. This may be straight or bendy, but it MUST stretch from one players' deployment zone to the other players'

Also required is something to represent Wagons.

The basis of this game is one army must defend a wagon train from a hostile force.

One player must protect the wagons, and they enter from his side of the table. The other player must DESTROY the wagons, and they LEAVE his side of the table.

The Protecting player may choose how many wagons enter the table, between 1 and 3, and they enter the table at the start of his turn, but no more than 1 wagon enters each turn. The set 6-turn sequence starts when the last wagon enters the table (so if you choose 3 wagons, you'll have pre-turn 1 for the first wagon, pre-turn 2 for the second wagon, then the arrival of the last wagon will mark out the start of the game, Turn 1)

The wagons themselves act exactly as Chariots with a Movement of 8, T6, 6Wounds, a 4+ save, and they may not Charge.

They MUST stay on the road, or within 4" of the road. They may not attack in any way, but may flee from combat voluntarily if you wish. A destroyed wagon must stay where it is destroyed, counting as terrain that cannot be moved from then on (further wagons must move AROUND it)

Each wagon that exits the table on the opposite side to which it started on gains the Protecting player 200 victory points. Each Wagon the enemy destroys gains him 100 Victory points, with a further 100 victory points each if ALL the Wagons are destroyed.

Crossroads

Now this one is a little different.

Two armies encounter each other at a crossroads on the same path to a battle or other event/position of strategic importance.

Instead of playing across the table, this game is played ALONG the table.

Pick one of the short table edges. This is the side where the armies ENTER the table. The opposite short edge is where the armies LEAVE the table.

On the entering side, one player takes one corner, the other player takes to other corner. The armies are not deployed at the start of the battle, but enter during the game. This is determined randomly.

There are 5 'pre-turn's in this game, numbered, conveniently, 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5.

At the start of each turn, you must roll for each of your units to determine if the reach the table yet. To do this, simply roll 2D6, and try to get equal to or less than the units' basic movement characteristic, so a unit of Empire Swordsmen would need to get 4 or less, but a unit of Empire Knights would need 7 or less (barding reduces Horse movement from 8 to 7). Skirmishing units count their double-pace, so Empire Archers would have to roll 8 or less, and Scouts automatically enter the table on the first pre-turn. Each pre-turn after the first adds +1 to your attempts to get a unit on the table, and any units not already on the table automatically arrive at the start of Normal Turn 1.

Units arriving make a normal move from the Entering Short table edge, within 12" of their corner.

Now, the Terrain layout of this battle is fairly important. There MUST be a clear path about 12" wide from each of the deployment entrance corners that join up roughly in the center line between a quarter and a half of the length of the table, at which point the path becomes 18" wide, and continues to do so in a more or less straight line to the center of the Leaving short table edge. This 18" at the Leaving short table edge is the 'Exit Point'

Any area that ISN'T in this path should be filled with Forests and obstacles and such that will very effectively impede movement. On the Entering short table edge, there should be, in the center between the two deployment zones, something that will present Impassable, or at least Very Difficult Ground, and this should jut-out onto the table at least half way to the point where the two paths merge. If this is Very Difficult Ground, then it will prove to be Very Difficult Ground even for Skirmishers, and in the spirit of the scenario, Fliers should NOT really be allowed to simply fly over it. This is to prevent a canny opponent from practically halting the enemy army with a single unit of skirmishers or some such.

The objective of the game is simply GET YOUR ARMY OFF THE EXIT POINT! The secondary objective, as always, is hurt any enemy you come across.

The game is a standard 6 turn game, although this can be bumped up to about 8 turns if you wish.

You gain victory points in the normal manner, EXCEPT, no Victory Points for table quarters, and any of your units that exits the table via the Exit Point (broken units do not count) earn their victory points for doing so, so as an example, a unit of Goblins worth 130 points, and with a Standard, that exits the table via the Exit Point, earns his player 230 (130 point unit, and a standard). If the unit was half-strength, he would only earn 165 (65 points, half the cost of the unit, and the 100points for a standard).

The Failed Fight for Helmgart!

Some of you may have noticed that last month things were a little different in a few of the games going on.

This was due to the Fight for Helmgart!

Basically, I linked 4 games into one, with people fighting on a Northern, Southern, Eastern, and Western front. One table represented North, another South, the next East, and the last West, with one good and one bad player facing off on each of the tables/fronts.

Each player could move a portion of his force onto one of the other tables, the size of which dependant on how much of his opponents' army he'd destroyed...

Deep in his study of historical military tactics, Overmarshal Hurst, commander of the Helmgart garrison, was startled when his junior officer burst into the study, puffing hard, with a complete lack of gentlemanly manners becoming of an Officer in His Majesty's Imperial Army.

"M'Lord Hurst! Urgent news from Paravon, M'Lord! You must come at once, this matter concerns you greatly!"

The commander was about to upbraid this uncouth lad when he noticed the look ofpanic in the mans eyes, and the steely determination of duty in his manner. He instead snapped at the lad "Lead me to the quarell at once, child, and be quick about it!"

The officer led him down to the gates of the stronghold, where he briefly greeted a familiar face, that of the freelance translator that had sort of unofficially adopted the role of herald between Paravon and Helmgart.

"Lord Overmarshal, you'd better start preparing defences. Paravon has fallen to a concerted attack of the dark Elven, with a large force of Greenskins driven before them. I saw as much with my own eyes the evening after I left for here when I saw the towers burn. You are in a very real danger, M'Lord"

"If Paravon's fallen, I believe you. When can we expect our advarsaries?"

"Within the week, Lord. They'd be here on my heels, but I believe they'll be preoccupied for a few days at lest. The Duke of Paravon sent out a request to neighbouring estates a full three days before I left, for a relief force to be sent to relieve the seige at Paravon. He was remarkably clear-headed for a Brettonian"

"Indeed"

"There, ah, there is something else you should perhaps know. The court magicians have noticed, of late, a disturbance in the wind. Some can apparently see this, sort of 'wind' of magic, closely related to the realm of the dead, Sire. They felt that perhaps there was foul sorcery afoot, whispers of necromancy, M'Lord"

Silence fell over the assembled group as this bitter nightmare set into their subconscious.

The Overmarshal broke the silence, ordering the young officer to fetch the garrison messengers. Reinforcements were badly needed here.

Over several days, the construction of further defences on the north-western facing of the pass, where the main thrust of the attack would be made, occupied the time of the soldiers. No sign of the imperial reinforcements was seen.

Fortune smiled on the beset garrison on the 4th day of waiting, with the arrival of an ambassador from a minor Dwarven hold within the Vaults, spurred into action by increasing raid of Undead on the old Dwarf tombs in the mountains. These raids seemed to be advancing upon Paravon and Helmgart, and a decisive strike there could destroy the Undead utterly!

However, things seemed less certain once the Dwarves leartn of what was to come, but thousands of yours of honour between the Dwarves and the sons of Sigmar Heldenhammer strengthened the Dwarven resolve, and made them more willing to lend their fighting arms to the Imperial Commander.

The sun set on the sixth day of waiting, and still no sight of Imperial reinforcements.

Commander Hurst paced his study, deep in thought and worry. There was nothing for it. To retreat would be to abandon the villages of the western empire to slave-raiding elves and the accursed Greenskins, and grant them a safe haven to fall back to. Only one thing left to do... what was it the Durnik, the Dwarven commander, had said? To sing your deathsong and march proudly to the embrace of the fathers? Yes, march proudly to your last day.

He kept pacing, lost in thought, and half muttering to himself, running over plans, contingency plans, and last minute details.

"Open your gate"

"The gates are barred at sunset, and raised no earlier than sunrise, sorry" Hurst halted in his pacing, and spun around to face his tower window. "An Elf!" he exclamed, drawing his sword halfway out its sheath. "The attack begins quicker than I'd assumed"

"Put down your sword, human, and open your gates. My men have marched far under cover of darkness and foliage, and they are weary. Open your gates to the peoples of Loren" the Elf perched on the window ledge spoke in a cool level tone, with no hint of apprehension given away in his stance or manner.

The Commander was taken aback.

"Loren? Your of The Wood? How the DEVIL did you get up here? Nevermind" he quickly cut into his own question at the sight of a great eagle soaring away in the red twilight of sunset.

"Do come in. Would you like a drink? I'll send for my protige' to fetch some wine"

"Your wine is as delicate as mud, but I am thirsty and shall not offend your graciousness by declining the offer."

After extending pleasantries, the two commanders settled down to talks, whilst the elves were let into Helmgart.

"I thought your kindred rarely left the enchanted forest? What brings you to Helmgart?"

"We were shadowing the Orcs. Thankfully those accursed brutes avoided Loren proper, but we had to be sure they wouldn't turn back once they'd left our sight. It may seem unfair for us to simply send our threat to your Empire, but your race is far more... prolific, than is my kindred, and few care when a building is burned down. Our forest shall NOT be shamed by the presence of Orcs" the word dripped distate and disgust from every letter. The Elves of Athel Loren feel very strongly about orcs defiling their home.

"Unfortunately, we have wandered rather too far from our lands, and are now trapped in a fight which does not directly involve us. However, my men WILL fight, if they must. Especially against the foul greenskins. Killing greenskins is a respectable passtime amongst my fellows"

"You too eh?" Hurst chuckled "Well, I am honoured to have your kindred with us, and pray my hospitality is adequate for your kind. Uhh, I should probably warn you that there are Dwarves in the compound. I hope this causes no problems between the two of you?"

"I suppose we can tolerate their presence. We do, at least, have some common ground with the diminutive ones"

"Really? What's that?"

"We both claim to be the worlds best orc-hunters" the Elf explained with a sardonic grin.

As dawn raised the darkness from the land, the serried ranks of Druchii could be seen marching upon the pass towards Helmgart, their orcish slaves driven forward before them. Out of the mountains, as half expected, hoards of the walking dead shambled towards the combined defenders. Two great dragons could be seen, swooping gracefully over the armies. Things were looking grim.

With a cry, a look-out pointed to a force from the Empire lands. Humans. MEN!

The hearts of the defenders sank as they realised that these humans were accompanied, and led, by Daemons. Disaster. DISASTER!

Not long after sighting the Chaos warriors, the Overmarshal, through his looking glass, spied a column of cavalry converging rapidly on the chaos hoard!

All was not lost!

The games were played together, with everyone finishing their turn 1 before starting on turn two, so that no-one got even a single turn ahead of anyone else.

Nick's Dwarves were the first to fall casualty, getting utterly crushed by Jaymesh's Undead. Somehow, Nick LOST a DEFENSIVE game with DWARVES, with a lot of ANTI-MAGIC against VAMPIRE COUNTS. Before turn 4!

Anthony, using a force of Empire Cavalry, with some other odds and ends, had a very back-and-forth game against Marcel's Chaos Warriors, but eventually lost against the dark warriors.

I suffered a drawn-out defeat against Manoj. Had it been a standard 6-turn game, I would have fared much better (as I could count the victory points before all hell broke loose) I fought valiantly, if rather absent-mindedly, forgetting to use the Mortars on the first turn, forgetting the huntsmen for a couple of turns, and missing glaringly obvious tactical blunders, I held out until a dragon ate two of my units, and my elite infantry were stuck full of more arrows than the French!

All the while, Will had managed to outmaneuvre Wade who was having to deal with fielding a combined force of Orcs and Dark Elves, setting a few good traps for the greenskins, and with a few lucky rolls managed to do quite favourably. Unfortunately, however, Wade had numbers on his side, and a sudden arrival of Jaymesh's Undead, Will wisely concluded the game rather than be forced to watch his exquisite elves be hacked to pieces and eaten by dragons.

The game was a LOT harder than suspected, the enemy maximising their bonus 500 points each, and in the end, unless all the defenders can somehow ALL do reasonably well, the defenders seem doomed.

Either that or we just all suck =P

Manoj (Druchii) beat Peter (Empire)

The Dark Elves had a 500point advantage, the Empire had defences as their advantage. However, I neglected to remind myself that Dark Elves are very, very FAST and could most likely just IGNORE these defensive obstacles, and I most certainly paid for my mistake... that and forgetting to use my Mortars in my first turn, whoops.

Curiously there was no combat at all for the first 4 turns, or thereabouts.

Manoj gradually weakened my army with shooting and bad breath (damned dragons with halitosis...) which allowed him a chance up close. My army comprised of 3 main units of solid infantry, a small shooter units, scouts, and two mortars... unimaginative as hell, I know. Unfortunately for me, my shooters got shot, my scouts were forgotten for a turn or two, and I failed to recall that my army standard bearer in my unit of Swordsmen had the Banner of Sigismund, which would've come in REALLY handy when the unit was sandwhiched between a unit of Witch Elves and a Dragon!

My spearmen on the left saw off a determined attack by cold one knights, but fell eventually under the preasure of an attack by Dark Riders and that damned Dragon!

In the center, my Greatswords and Elector Count fared well, and spent the game chasing down an enemy unit, slowly get shot to pieces.

However, as this game was linked with 3 others, it lasted a fair bit longer than normal, and I eventually conceded once I realised that my other 3 allies were either dead or doomed. Had it been a normal 6 turn game, the result wouldn't have been as embaressing... particularly if I could hold a bit more focus on the game.

I was out-tacticed.

I'll get you next time, Manoj! I have a new threat growing, you'll be amongst the victims of the Nac Mac Feegle!!!

Peter Colson (Middenheimers) beat Anthony Hurndell (Pirates)

A group of shabby-dressed men sat themselves at a roughly-finished table in the middle of a smokey tavern.

Torches crackled and burned in their brass embrasures set in brick walls... fire is a major concern in prospector towns, those set around the blasted city of Mordheim no less than any other.

Among the unshaven group at the longtable, a few were rather noticeably of large build, with the air of menace which often accompanies those whose only aleigance is to their sword and their pocket.

One of their number was already comatose and spralled on his end of the table, largely ignored by his fellows who knew better to trouble him in such state.

An old man accompanying the comatose fellow, one eye covered by a patch, and balding on the top, whose long flowing beard suggested that the hair hadn't so much fallen out as migrated to his chin, bellowed with laughter with the rest of the group, relating the tale of the days activities...

"Arr! Shiver me timbers, lad, thar he is" he immitated the stereotypical sea captain voice, holding his finger out like a hook, and making off-colour jokes about cabin boys.

"Ulrics Teeth, a softer set of larrikins ye couldn't find, aye. Young Ketill was up that tavern like a rat up a trellis, and I covered the lower levels of that inn for him, when this clown with a feather in his cap tried his luck with a damned pistol on me! Clearly an ameteur his shot couldn't hit the broad side of a troll at 3 paces, so he calls on his cabin boy to go at me with a cat o' bloody nine tails! Now this lad was more used to usin' that thing on his cap'n in the cabin than in battle, and I gave 'im a right nasty gash across the shoulder for his troubles, and settled for that old coot calin' hisself a captain. I swear, my daughter could put up a better fight than that lot, but she was up the street a ways coverin' Erik with Althalus. Not that Erik needed much help, mind" he gestured to the comatose patron, "accounted for the boatswain and and a crewman alone, straw that broke the backbone of those bloody pirate it was. Never, EVER mess with a Norscan, I says. Right, dead easy it was. Them rumour were true, though you wouldn't believe it, whole place was littered with the Stone. We split up, covered more ground that way. Ketill and I headed for the coaching inn, and my lad, Aybara, covered us, taking shots at the scoundrels up along the streets, aye, did a lot better than Kurt managed too likely. Ketill, he's a canny one he is, found himself a nice big chunk of that magic rock in the attic of that inn... found himself a nice tapmaid 'bout half ago, he should be along later, hour or so I'd say. Anyway, as we were gettin the stone up there, Old Thom and Gurmann were scrambling up one ruined building, seems there was a bit o' the rock up on a bridgeway up thereabouts. A rancid pirate managed to get his grubby hands on it first, though, so I suspect that rock weren't hardly worth as much after he sullied it. The lads set him straight though, he got the picture when Gurmann ran him through with his sabre, learned not to touch other peoples property right smart after that" the old veteran chuckled.

"Them lot ran off rather quickly not soon after, left us to hunt quite happily after that. Maybe there's hope for them lads yet, maybe they'll learn their manners proper. Not much chance of it though, and next time we see them, chances likely as not we wont go easy on them either. I've a mind to go back there next morn, actually. Place was rolling in the Wyrdstone, I'm a wealthy man practically overnight! Hah! My retirement fund's rather healthy I'd say... but still, when business is this good, who'd be mad enough to quit eh?" he grinned at this, and ordered another round of drinks for his fellow patrons.

Fortune smiled today, here's hoping it'll hold.

Will vs. Wade

The Battle for Helmgart

On the North Slope, the battle for the town of Helmgart was a close one, with both sides having the enemy on the ropes at different stages. Starting with 500 points less than Wade’s Dark Elves, I wasn’t optimistic. Losing the deployment roll I was forced to show my forces. Deciding to play to the scenario, I chose a very defensive line up. Glade Guard and Archers as far as the eyes could see, as well as a few offensive troop types such as Dryads, Wardancers and a rather large treeman.

The enemy composed of two units of Spearmen, a mass of Repeater Crossbowmen, a unit of Corsairs, two reaper bolt throwers and a small unit of Cold One Knights. Taking allies to make up the 2500 points a large contingent of greenskins made an appearance: A unit of orc boys with pointy sticks, a unit of big uns, orc arrer boys, as well as two chariots. Oh did I mention the level four mage leading the army with an extra level two mage? No matter who’s language, that’s a lot of power dice.

Winning my first roll of the game the Wood Elves got to go first. Spotting the arrogant she-elf high above the spearmen on her cold one, the Wood Elf general ordered a volley of arrows to take her down. Two arrows lodged deep into their target and a cheer rose from the Archers as the enemy scuttled for cover behind a nearby farmhouse. The archers on the right flank now showed their colours by turning the crew of one reaper bolt thrower into a pair of pincushions.

In retaliation, the crew of the other reaper opened fire on the triumphant archers, felling several of their number. The magic phase passed uneventfully, with one mage behind shelter, and the other too far away to cast spells. Meanwhile the rest of the army marched forward except for a unit of bickering orc boys.

Turn two showed a number of driads breaking cover to support a unit of scouts, who were rapidly being surrounded on the right flank. Again shooting played a big part. The chariot on the left flank came into view and was utterly destroyed by the elves concentrated fire. The other reaper now lost its first crewman, an arrow protruding from his throat. The Wood Elf mage ran into trouble with her spell and managed to miscast with her three dice. Luckily only losing her last dice and ending the magic phase.

After cracking a few heads together the orc boss got organised enough to resume the march forward with the rest of the army. The Cold Ones made their first appearance of the battle rounding the farmhouse to head for the exposed line of archers on the left flank.

By turn three, things got interesting. The driads and scouts broke cover to engage the dark elf spearmen on the right flank. It was a brutal encounter, with many a dark elf falling victim to flailing tree limbs. The dark elves though, managed to kill three of the unarmoured scouts and this was enough to secure another round of fighting. On the left of the field, two Cold One Knights tumbled from their saddles under a hail of elven fire.

By now the Dark Elves were getting way too close for the Wood Elves comfort. But with all lines of sight blocked, the repeater crossbowman moved forward to get a better angle to shoot at the Archers but their bolts fell short to the jibes of the Wood Elves telling them to buy real weapons.

With the Dark Elves so close all the Wood Elves could do was close ranks behind hastily prepared defences and await the charge. The fighting was vicious and bloody. The Dark Elf Spearmen (on the left,) charged shapes in the trees, these unfortunately turned out to be Wardancers. After losing nine of their number they broke and fled to be cut down as they ran. This though, left the Wardancers in a rather unhappy position in front of a dangerous looking Reaper Bolt thrower. The big uns charged a unit of 20 Glade Guard behind a wall who due to superior numbers managed to beat the ugly brutes. Under the leadership of the Dark Elf general (Which we still don’t know if they have any effect on allied troops) they stayed to fight another round. The corsairs next to them, used to assaulting ships at sea, won the combat against the other unit of Glade Guard who passed their leadership test to hang around another turn. The Cold Ones charged in against the Archers on the left flank but panicked and fled from the table as the came under fire. The driads finished off the last of the Dark Elf Spearman on the right and turned to watch the orc boys thunder past toward the Archers on the right who were to preoccupied watching an orc chariot rumbling toward them.

The next turn showed a bitter scene. On the left the archers were sizing up the last Reaper, the Glade guard to their right were engaged with the Big Uns, the Glade Guard to their right were engaged with the corsairs. The Wardancer unit was standing in the open in front of the last Reaper. Again to the right showed the Repeater crossbowmen taking aim at the Wood Elf Archers who themselves were aiming at them in return. Next to them the third unit of archers were aiming up the orc arrer boys and chariot. The orc spearmen were still moving forward toward these archers while the Driads, Scouts and Wardancers watched them from the shadows.

The next round showed the Wood Elf Mage miscasting a second time and again ending the magic round prematurely. The Dark Elf crossbowmen finished off the second unit of archers after moving forward again. The Driads, scouts and Wardancers all engaged the orc boys. Being attacked from three sides the boys suffered horrendous casualties and fled toward the arrer boys before being cut down. The archers also managed to destroy the last chariot with bow fire. On the left the Reaper cut swathes into the Wardancers as they charged but the last crewman didn’t stand a chance against the angered elves. The corsairs bested the Glade guard and chased them from the table before halting at the edge of Helmgart. The other Glade Guard unit fared better and beat the Big Uns again this time they broke and fled hotly pursued by the elves. The Wood Elf General, enraged by the enemy magic blasting his troops declared his own charge but watched as the cowardly She-elf fled before him.

The Wood Elf Mage managed to miscast for the third time (by this time I had nearly given up on her, I think I had defective dice). The Wood Elf general found himself hard pressed as a Dark Elf hero challenged him. After suffering two wounds caused by the Dark Elf hero, the enemy was then cut down by the Wood Elf Lord, finally taking blood first hand. The Glade Guard charged the big uns again who lost, broke, and fled, again pursued by the avenging spearmen. On the southern edge of the table the Corsairs wheeled to face the now isolated Archers and prepared for the charge next turn. The Crossbowmen again exchanged fire with the wood elf archers and elves fell on both sides.

The next turn Wade discovered his mistake. The Glade guard had now returned from Helmsgart and charged the corsairs rear. The treeman finally in a position to attack charged the units front. It was a massacre. The corsairs lost, broke, and fled before being cut down by the treeman (he has longer legs to run faster you see). The big uns also failed their rally and proceeded to run from the table. On the right, the Driads attacked the orc arrer boys and killed a number of the greenskins who amazingly held on to fight the next round. The archers finding the Dark Elf General exposed fired on her and finally she succumbed to the wounds inflicted, tumbling from her saddle.

The next few turns showed the now outnumbered dark elves being taken down one by one. The Repeater crossbowmen (who had Wade with a evil grin on his face the entire game) were destroyed by a combined assault of wardancers (the few that remained) the treeman and a unit of Glade guard. The driads by themselves managed to beat the arrer boys down and destroyed them utterly. Victory to the Wood Elves.

The remaining Wood Elves looked around and gave a ragged cheer. Their evil kin had been routed and the survivors were fleeing the field of battle. Tired looking elves everywhere, were nursing injuries and easing bowstrings. Armour was being unclasped and banners furled. A harsh cry brought absolute silence to the survivors of the battle. The last remaining scout was pointing off down the hill. Following his gaze the Commander of the elves saw far off the dust clouds raised, that could only mean one thing. The dwarves, damn their hides, had failed to protect their flank. Even now, skeletons were breaking ground around the remaining dryads. Their slow, lifeless bodies standing no chance against the agile elementals, but numbers would tell. The numbers always told. A roar followed by screams from the south turned the commanders head, a dragon had dropped unawares onto a unit of glade guard who stood no chance. "We may yet see our fallen brothers," he cried. "Unfurl the banner, we aren’t finished yet."

Marcel (Chaos)-Beat-Anthony (Empire).

How can I describe my battle.

It was a Massacre!

There were only a few note worthy points in the battle.

The first being the Warrior Priest and his Pistolier bodyguard

ran down a wimpy Daemon Prince. Considering I forgot about Warrior Priest Prayers of Sigmar.

The second highlight being my specially brave unit of Knights Panther being terrorised by a single base of Nurglings.

The third and final point was the heroic last stand of my Grand Master and 4 White Wolves (Run Lads Run!).

It's not easy writing about a loss.